Hi guys! Greetings and salutations. It has really been a while since I last posted on this blog huh. The reason for why I've taken this long to post is that : I'm afraid that I've gotten a little rusty with my writing ever since I stopped reading as much as I used to. Ever since college started, i spent whatever little time i have left for myself on resting or being with my loved ones, and thus not being able to read any books in the end. I'm not going to lie, that made me a little apprehensive to start blogging again. I've tried several times to post something, anything, up on this blog, but failed miserably as my nerves always got the best of me in the end. I was afraid of being unable to produce quality posts and entries like i used to (and end up being judged by nasty grammar nazis), but after careful consideration and persuasion by my friends and family, I've decided to start writing again because if I don't start now, when will I ever begin?
My last entry was two years ago, and I was a completely different person then. I've changed a lot, but change goes by without saying. During those two years, I've suffered, cried, destroyed and destructed so much that the impact of it all still weighs my heart down till today. Long story short, I had an encounter with a dark angel that seemed so harmless and beautiful at first, but then became the very reason of me spiraling into a dark, endless hole. Somewhere along the way, I discovered tiny little lights that gradually led me to a stairway that could only go up, not down. Today, I'm still walking up those stairs, but little by little, the shackles on my feet start to loosen and my world has never been brighter.
And here lies the main reason that encouraged me to start blogging again: I want to document my journey on walking up these stairs. I want to be able to discover myself through my rambles and rants, my adventures to new places, and the new experiences that I get. I want to write all of these things down to get my brain to realize my unconscious, real, unsugar-coated thoughts in its purest form.
Most importantly, I want to remember.
I want to be able to reminisce and remember everything just like when it happened. I want to be able to trace the face of the people i love with my hand and have them appear at the back of my eyelids. I want to be able to hold on to my precious memories forever.
So with this post, I hereby commence the start of my documented journey to self discovery. I honestly hope that this motivation isn't short-lived like how it always is, but we'll never know.
okay i gotta stop rambling.
Good night.
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